There is nothing – nothing – fun about using the self checkout. Hey Walmart – and all you other grocery/general stores that have these self-serve checkouts… we’re not stupid. You have them there so you don’t have to pay another cashier to work a register. Don’t act like you’re doing us a favor, okay?

We have a piano in our apartment, an upright that’s been in Angela’s family for a time. While she can pick out a few tunes, Angela can’t really play – which is why I’ve been less than ecstatic that we’ve had to lug this thing everywhere we’ve moved in the past eight years.

That’s about to change.

I won a prize in a contest a couple of months ago, a course of my choice in the Learn and Master series from Legacy Learning. I decided that rather than get the guitar course (which I’d been eyeing but don’t really have time for), I’d get the Learn and Master Piano course for Angela. In true Daniel-fashion, I’ve set up a website that both promotes the course and chronicles Angela learning to play the piano.

It’s called, appropriately enough, Angela Learns Piano. It’s young – so far, there’s just a couple of very short interviews that I’ve conducted with her, but in time, we’ll flesh it out with some audio and video. The process is fairly slow… finding time with her work schedule, a busy husband and two kids isn’t easy for her, but I’ll post about it here whenever something new goes up on the site.

Hope you like it.

If something doesn’t look right, it’s probably because I’m upgrading Thesis. Normally, it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I’m going from 1.5.1 to 1.7, and that’s a huge leap in Thesis-terms.

I had $15.00 to spend at Things From Another World in the form of coupon codes, and after spending a good twenty minutes being very indecisive, I chose to do something completely out of character—I ordered from the grab bag. There are a few different grab bags to choose from, and each comic ordered is fifty cents. Shoppers can order as many as they like. Since my coupon codes (one for $10, one for $5) couldn’t be combined, I placed two orders for combined total of 30 comics from the DC Comics grab bag (which also includes the Vertigo imprint, as you’ll see). I’m quite happy with the results! Continue reading for the full list and a picture or two.

Here’s the breakdown. Only six (marked with a *) of the books were in my collection prior to receiving them today – not bad at all!

1. Air #7
2. Black Lightning: Year One #6
3. Bang Tango #3
4. Action Comics #875
5. Action Comics #876
6. Superman/Batman #57
7. Superman/Batman #58
8. Superman #686
9. Strange Adventures #1
10. Strange Adventures #2
11. Unknown Soldier #6
12. Vigilante #4
13. Green Lantern Corps #25*
14. Green Lantern Corps #35*
15. Green Lantern #39*
16. DMZ # 41
17. Booster Gold #17
18. Booster Gold #19
19. Identity Crisis #1 Special Edition
20. Batman: Battle for the Cowl: Commissioner Gordon #1
21. Batman: Battle for the Cowl: Man-Bat #1
22. John Constantine: Hellblazer #253
23. House of Mystery #12
24. Justice League of America #27*
25. Justice League of America #28*
26. Justice League of America #29*
27. Justice League of America #31*
28. Outsiders #16
29. The Mighty #3
30. Billy Batson & The Power of Shazam #4

Not bad, huh? It’s a really good mix of A-List titles (Justice League, Superman/Batman), titles I’ve never even heard of (Air, DMZ, Bang Tango), and titles that I’ve been interested in but never budgeted for (Booster Gold, Outsiders). I’m also happy they threw in a kids comic – and so is my daughter. I placed the order on January 25th and they arrived today, which is a nice turnaround time.

There are two downsides, neither of which should be surprising for books priced at fifty cents each. First, these are reading copies, not collecting copies. Oh, I’ll bag & board ‘em anyway because they’re in no worse condition than most of the books I get at the local shop. There might be slightly more wear on the spine or a small scuff here or there, but by and large, these books are in Very Good to Near Mint condition. Second, and this is a big second… they have stickers on them. Each book has a small green sticker on the back cover. They are easily removed and don’t leave behind any trace of having been there, but purists will surely balk at having any kind of sticker on their books (then again, what purist is buying 50-cent grab bag books?).

I’m stoked to have a batch of new comics to check out, and I’m now a fan of the grab bag model. Since I haven’t read Marvel books in about a decade, maybe I’ll try for a Marvel grab bag next time I get some coupon codes to spend. Check out Things From Another World, you won’t be disappointed.

One of my favorite comedians, George Carlin, died last June at the age of 71. I can remember thinking to myself, on at least two occasions when he was playing in the town in which I was living, that I would see him another time. I put off going to the shows because money was tight, because I couldn’t find anyone to go with me, because I had to work that night – I’m sure my excuses reasons were justified at the time.

My biggest regret on June 22, 2008 was that I never got to see George perform live. I own every album he put out, but I never got to the live show.

My first concert was Poison, in 1988. Since then, I’ve seen Aerosmith, Skid Row, Tesla, Warrant, Rush (7 times), Queensryche, Counting Crows, The Cure (3 times), Primus, Def Leppard, and a few others. Comedians, I’ve only seen a couple – Jeff Dunham (before he turned into a right wing racist lunatic) and Janeane Garofalo are the two you’ve probably heard of. There are a few artists that I’ve always sort of had on a “well, if they come around and I’m not busy maybe I’ll go” list, but after Carlin passed last year, I’m upgrading most of the artists to “whatever it takes, I must see them perform before I (or more likely, they) die”.

Peter Gabriel tops the list. Morrissey. Robert Plant (though I will steadfastly not go to any sort of Led Zeppelin reunion, just on principle). Kevin Smith. David Cross. Henry Rollins. Patton Oswalt. There are quite a few more, but I’m curious…

Who’s on your list?

There’s a TV show on PBS called Sid the Science Kid. It is, without a doubt, one of the most formulaic, inspid shows on the network. The fact that it whips a little science on the viewers is great, but the characters are flat, the plot is predictable and the voice acting is terrible.

Each episode begins with Sid, the computer animated muppet, waking up in his bedroom. He heads downstairs to the kitchen where his always perky family feeds him. By the time he’s ready to go to school, he has identified a question that he wants answered (why does the banana get mushy? for example). After breakfast, he is driven to school by his mother, and they sing a song about how mom is cool. Sid then gets dropped off at school, and the song changes to one about finding his friends. Same songs, same animation, same three-minute-or-so sequence in each episode. After he finds his friends – the perky redhead, the wispy Asian stereotype and the dullard – Sid and the others are herded into the classroom by Teacher Susie singing yet another song.

Over the next few minutes, we come to realize a few things. This must be a magnet school in a very, very rich area because there are only four students in the class, and the school is decked out with whatever science equipment they need. Science is the only subject taught in school, and there is no lesson plan – whatever Sid thinks of in the morning is what Teacher Susie teaches the kids about. After Teacher Susie gives the lesson (the banana gets mushy because of decay), the kids go home. Sid always gets picked up by his Grandmother, who has the most annoying laugh in the history of kids’ television. Once home, Sid tells the family what he learned, and the show wraps – sometimes with Sid going to bed, which is a little weird.

That’s my view as a 34-year old adult.

You know what my 4-year old daughter gets out of it? “Daddy, do you know why the pumpkin near the front door looks all squishy like that? Because of decave.” Okay, she meant decay, but she’s four, so we correct her and are impressed that a kid her age has an understanding of the concept of decay.

The moral of the story is this: don’t over-analyze things – and not just when it comes to kids’ television. Realize that your perspective is completely different than that of other people (especially kids). Sometimes, as Freud said, a cigar is just a cigar.

Except Barney the Dinosaur. That’s just evil personified.

It’s been a while since I wrote about the goofy messages found in fortune cookies I’ve opened, but I’m back with one that I got just last night.

All thing has a cause. Look into your pass for answer

Not exactly award-winning prose, eh?

While they are always quick to deliver things that I have little interest in, when it comes to stuff I really really want, UPS makes me suffer. Now, I have proof that it’s intentional. The following is an authentic*, accurate* and true* transcript of a phone conversation that took place last week between representatives of UPS and NewEgg.com.

NewEgg: Hello, this is Martha. How may I direct your call?

UPS: Department X, please.

There’s a short pause, then a click.

NewEgg: This is Vinny. What’s the order number?

UPS: [xxx]87687

NewEgg: Okay, got it. That’s going to Daniel M. Clark in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

UPS: Right. And is this something that he’s really, really looking forward to, do you think?

NewEgg: Oh, totally. This is a cool piece of tech, I’m sure he would be upset if he… let’s see… yeah, he paid for 3-day select, and he’d probably be upset if he didn’t get it on the third day.

UPS: Hm. We’ll think about that. We usually try to deliver on the last day possible to this guy, so if he chose Ground, it would’ve been day seven instead of day four. Still, we’ll make sure we don’t deliver until the very end of the day so he can’t leave the house for fear of missing us. That always cracks us up here at the office.

NewEgg: Sounds good!

*This was not authentic, accurate or true. But it wouldn’t surprise me if it was. I’m still waiting for my delivery, and it’s almost four in the afternoon.

[Update!] UPS dropped off my package at 5:20. Good thing I’m residential and not business, or they would’ve missed their window.

My son, Ian, is just a day over 9 months old. Like his big sister, Ian will be taught some sign language as he grows up. No, he’s not deaf; he’s not hearing impaired in the least. Signing with infants in the months before they can talk is awesome.

Sign language is wonderful for relieving stress and anxiety due to lack of verbal communication skills in infants and toddlers. Even if the child doesn’t learn much more than “milk” and “more”, he’ll be able to communicate one of his basic needs.

We taught our daughter, Winter, sign language using the Signing Time DVD series and a few selections from My Baby Can Talk. In my opinion, although the My Baby Can Talk series is nice, it’s not as personable as the Signing Time series. Signing Time, created by and starring Rachel Coleman – along with her daughter Leah and nephew Alex – is a treat. The cast is friendly and energetic, and the kids are a joy to watch.

To kick off this series documenting Ian’s education in sign language, I’m putting up just a couple of photos. As he gets a little older and is able to start controlling his hands, I’ll be posting video. I want every parent who hears about baby sign language to see firsthand how effective it is and how beneficial it can be for kids with and without the ability to hear.

Ian watches Volume 4 of Signing Time

He loves that remote!

We don’t normally sit him that close to the TV, of course… that was just for the picture!

Do you have any experience with baby sign language? I’d love to hear about it!

Dear Albertson’s checkout lady,

The store’s current promotion is a fine deal: customers receive one stamp for every ten dollars they spend, and when they collect enough stamps they may trade them in for a piece of cookware. I’ve participated in a few Albertson’s promotions in the past. I own a nice chef’s knife and a fantastic wok that I use quite a lot.

I know that when a store runs a promotion, the clerks are supposed to enforce the rules. I know that if my total comes to $52.65 I should expect to be given five stamps. If my total comes to $48.73, I expect four stamps.

My total today was $89.91. You gave me eight stamps. I know you’re following the rules to the letter, but it was nine cents. I didn’t make a big deal about it; I didn’t even mention it, in fact. But I’ll remember. This might not be the thing that gets me to shop at the Smith’s across the street, but enough of these little things can add up to a customer switching stores. Take a little initiative. Make the customer happy with a little extra kindness above and beyond the letter of the law – or promotional rules. No manager in his right mind will fire you, or even reprimand you, for putting a smile on the face of a customer who came nine cents short for a sticker.

Little things count.