Not So Boring Life: The Movie

The following was stolen from the trash can of Nathan Metzger, he of fame. Apparently he’s a writer of some kind.

Not So Boring Life: The Movie (Screenplay)

Written by Nathan Metzger, Produced by Nathan Metzger, Directed by George Lucas.

Opening: we see our two protagonists (Donny and "Bonzo") on a fishing boat in the middle of the ocean. No land is in sight.

Donny: "Damn man, it’s hot out here. Pass me a brew."

Bonzo: "Ain’t got no brews left. Got some sparkling water, though. Hey, you want your pipe?"

Donny: "Sparkling water? Who the hell packed for this trip? Okay, yeah, gimme my pipe. Pipe smoking is cool."

Bonzo: "Yeah it is. Hey, what are you using for line there? We’re supposed to be shark fishing, it looks like you’re not using the proper line!"

Donny: "Oh, it’s proper! Back when Eddie was teaching me how to play guitar, he let me in on this little secret. You switch out your fishing line for yoyo string. It’s perfect!"

Bonzo: "You gotta be kidding me! That’s ridiculous. Only someone as dumb as you would try that."

Donny: "It’s all in your grip strength. You get a good grip on the rod, it doesn’t matter what kind of line you use. Let me give you another example of something where that’s important–"

Donny whips out a lightsaber and cuts Bonzo in half, then dumps him in the ocean (remember, it’s a George Lucas flick, so that’s okay).

Donny: "That’ll teach you to forget to bring enough brews."


The preceding was a work of… well, it is clearly fiction, and not written by Nathan at all – it was written by me. This is my entry into Nathan’s contest, where he’s giving away a hundred bucks to link to a few pages of his blog in a specific way. Fun! See if you can still participate, and maybe you’ll have a shot at the scratch.

Spread it around!

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