Earlier this year I wrote a little piece about fortune cookies. Go ahead and read that. I’ll wait.

Back so soon? Okay, well, my daughter and I had lunch today at Chow’s Asian Bistro at the Cottonwood Mall here in Albuquerque. I know, I shouldn’t be surprised at anything that comes out of a mall restaurant, but cut me some slack. It’s not like they make the fortune cookies on the premises. No, these cookies, once again, are products of the Kari-Out Company, located in the Asian metropolis of White Plains, New York. Let’s begin with the one I opened for my two-year-old daughter. Two. Two years old.

Any rough times are behind you.

I’m looking forward to a very, very easy time as a parent. I’m not worried about her teen years at all, now. Given her little temper tantrum when we had to leave the mall and go home though, I’d say this one’s a bust. Hey, at least it was an actual fortune—unlike the one I opened for myself.

Customer service is like taking a bath; you have to keep doing it.

Apparently, the Kari-Out Company has an aspiring stand-up comedian working for them. I fully expect they’ve got such winners as “how about that airplane food” and “a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar” in a cookie somewhere, just waiting for some poor sap to open them.

Yes, they were invented in California in the early years of the 1900′s. No, they’re not actually Chinese. I get that. It just seems to me that if the Kari-Out Company is going to continue making the things, they might actually get their hands on some Chinese fortunes or prophesies and work from those. Couldn’t be any worse than what they’re doing now.